


Davekat Pesterlogs 2.0

by voiceless_vocabulary



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-16 17:50:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10576383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voiceless_vocabulary/pseuds/voiceless_vocabulary
Summary: The updated everyday arguing with Dave and Karkat.





	1. yes, NO

**Author's Note:**

> I think i took longer formatting this than actually writing this XD

turntechGodhead [TG] started bothering carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TG: yo what up  
CG: YEAH, YOU GOT YOUR COMMAND RIGHT.  
TG: what  
CG: NEVERMIND. WHAT DO YOU WANT?  
TG: someones in a tude today  
  
carcinoGeneticist [CG]deleted a message  
  
TG: i  
TG: i think im offended kar  
CG: DON'T FUCK WITH ME TODAY STRIDER. YOU KNOW I'M BUSY, BUT GO AHEAD AND HAVE YOUR SPILL BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND.  
CG: I KNOW YOU WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE UNTIL YOU DO, THE ASSHOLE THAT YOU ARE.  
TG: im clutching my heart here karkat  
TG: i cant believe that youd clear time out of schedule for me  
TG: truly honored here bro  
CG: AND TIME'S UP.  
TG: no wait  
TG: ive got something legitimately important to say  
CG: REALLY NOW?  
TG: yes  
CG: WHAT IS IT, I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY TO PRY IT OUT OF YOU.  
TG: aww  
TG: you ruin the fun out of everything  
CG: I SWEAR TO GOG IF YOU DON'T SAY IT IN 5 SECONDS, I'M GOING TO CLOSE THIS CHAT.  
TG: will you go out on a date with me  
CG: . . .  
CG: OH  
TG: pfft  
CG: THAT WAS A SUDDEN AND NON-CLIMATIC DECISION.  
CG: WHY?  
TG: are you asking why i asked you or why you should go out with me  
TG: low-key hoping for the last one  
TG: got a lot of answers for that  
CG: NO, YOU EGOTISTICAL DOUCHE. YOU DON'T JUST UP AND AND ASK A PERSON IF THEY WANT TO GO OUT ON A DATE! ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVEN'T CLASSIFIED WHAT QUADRANT YOU ARE IN!  
TG: so  
TG: is that a no  
CG: WELL, NO, BUT. . .  
CG: I STILL WANT AN EXPLANATION!  
TG: is that a yes i here  
TG: fucking knew it  
CG: FUCK YOU!  
CG: FIRST OF ALL, THE PERSON ASKING THE OTHER ON A DATE SHOULDN'T ACT AT ALL IN THIS MANNER! AND TWO, WHO MAKES SUCH A BRASH DECISION?!  
TG: one youve been brainwashed into thinking what the perfect date should be based on shitty romcoms  
TG: and two me  
CG: I HAVE NOT BEEN BRAINWASHED! THAT'S JUST GENERAL MANNERISMS YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO USE YOU ANIMAL! AND THAT LAST ONE WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION, IDIOT.  
TG: so what im getting from this is you want to go on that date  
CG: YOU DON'T KNOW HOW *MUCH* I WANT TO DECLINE RIGHT NOW.  
CG: SERIOUSLY, THE PERCENTAGE IS SO HIGH, THAT IF I WERE TO JUMP FROM THAT TO YOUR IQ I'DPROBABLY DIE FROM IMPACT.  
CG: NOT LIKE THAT IS SAYING MUCH.  
TG: but you havent declined either  
TG: so 8 tonight  
CG: HAVE YOU NOT HEARD A SINGLE THING I'VE SAID?!  
TG: yes  
TG: youre practically begging to go out on a date with me  
CG: STRIDER, I'VE SAID THIS SO MANY TIMES  
CG: BUT FUCK YOU, YOU INCOMPREHENSIBLE DOUCHEMUFFIN.  
TG: hmm  
TG: douchemuffin  
TG: thats new on your list of creative vocabulary  
CG: DAMN YOU  
CG: ANYWAY, YOU PICKING ME UP?  
TG: internally screeching right now  
TG: just fyi  
CG: YEAH, I NEVER SAID YES *FYI*.  
TG: just did  
TG: ayyyy  
CG: THAT DOESN'T COUNT.  
TG: ugh can you agree with me for once  
CG: NO, BECAUSE THEN I'VE HAVE TO LOWER MYSELF TO THE ABYSS THAT IS YOUR MATURITY AND INTELLIGENCE.  
TG: don't see how thats a problem  
TG: considering how awesome and amazing i am  
TG: you should try it  
CG: HELL TO THE NO.  
CG: OF ANYTHING I COULD POSSIBLY DO, THAT'S LAST ON MY LIST.  
TG: suit yourself  
TG: looooooooser  
CG: YEAH, I'M GLAD I DON'T HAVE THE MATURITY OF A PRESCHOOLER.  
TG: wait  
TG: if im a preschooler. . .  
TG: will you be my daddy  
CG: YEP, AND THAT CONVERSATION ENDS THERE!

carcinoGeneticist [CG]  ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG]


	2. Romcoms v.s. Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! >~<

carcinoGeneticist [CG]began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]

CG: HOLY FUCK DUDE  
TG: whats the dealio  
CG: THIS MOVIE. . .  
CG: IT'S SO. . .TEARJERKING.  
TG: not this again man  
TG: come on  
CG: OH SHUT UP. YOU DON'T APPRECIATE THE ARTS.  
TG: the "arts"  
TG: my major is fucking music  
CG: YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND, DAVE. THESE BEAUTIES THAT DIRECTORS CREATE.  
TG: romcoms  
TG: fucking romcoms  
CG: DON'T GIVE THEM SUCH A DEMEANING TITLE!  
CG: THESE DISCS DO NOT SIMPLY CONTAIN ROMANCE AND COMEDY. THEY CONTAIN HEARTWARMING MOMENTS AND TEARJERKING SITUATIONS! THEY GIVE YOU A NEW PERSPECTIVE ON LIFE!  
TG: ok man  
TG: dont go out on a tangent about stupid movies  
TG: youre like john times ten  
TG: no make that times a hundred  
CG: AMHXMBCLJOUEYO  
CG: YOU JUST DON'T *UNDERSTAND*  
TG: nah im pretty sure i do  
TG: theyre really bad  
CG: HOW DARE YOU?!  
TG: oh i dare  
CG: I  
CG: AM  
TG: triggered  
CG: THAT'S THE FINAL STRAW!  
TG: whaddya gonna do  
CG: OH, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M GONNA DO.  
CG: I'M GOING TO INSULT YOUR COMIC SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF.  
CG: PUBLICLY.  
TG: you wouldnt dare  
CG: OH, BUT I WOULD.  
CG: IN FACT, I'M MAKING THE VIDEO AS WE SPEAK.  
CG: DO YOU THINK I SHOULD PUT IT ON LIVE? WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST, DAVE?  
TG: dont do it man  
TG: dont make it happen  
CG: HERE I GO.  
TG: wait  
CG: HMM?  
TG: ill  
CG: ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG AND ACCEPT DEFEAT.  
CG: . . .BY WATCHING MOVIES WITH ME.  
TG: oh my god  
CG: WHAT'LL IT BE, STRIDER?  
TG: fuck you  
TG: ill be there in 10  
TG: but only for the sake of my precious sweet bro and my amazing hella jeff

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG]


End file.
